Intimacy Starts with you
Being seen, really BEING SEEN, is the most powerful, scariest experience I can think of. For example, public speaking, is so scary that it has been shown to be the number one fear, even over death! So, how do people do it - showing up to be seen and heard? Why is it so enticing to share your message? Meeting new people - that's another thing that can be very intimidating. How can you let more people in your life REALLY see you? Even those things you think you'll be judged for?
Total self-acceptance. Is that even possible? What does that feel like?
Yes, it's possible and it feels like freedom and laughter and warmth. It creates the ability to do something from a place of curiosity, wonder, and understanding. Understanding that how others react to what you do has nothing to do with you being deserving of love. Trust me, this is an amazing experience that you, too, can feel. The trick is to keep in mind that it's a process, not an end goal.
The short answer is no. It doesn't need to be.
The long answer is that we're all born with an affinity to do things that light us up - to be passionate and find joy in life. It's actually that we're taught not to be passionate, so it's about relearning how to tap into our deep desires.
Happy Valentine's Day!! I hope you're celebrating with your lover, friends and family in ways that are fun and relaxing. I know many of you may feel bummed or "anti-valentine" this year because you're single or maybe you're fighting with your partner at the moment. Well, today's post is to help you see how much love you already have in your life and to give you permission to celebrate it more often than once a year!
Since Valentine’s Day is a holiday where we all consciously pay attention to love, however, I want to share something with you that is meaningful in my life. The more we can all show gratitude and love to ourselves and others, the more we can see where it shows up for us in so many ways.
Recently I asked a group of women what they are curious about around intimacy. One woman asked, "How do I tell a man I'm a virgin...when it's not for religious purposes?" Another woman asked the opposite, "How do I tell someone that I've been promiscuous?"
First, let me say that this can be a very hard subject to talk about. You are expressing something extremely personal and that comes with a lot of emotion. Sexuality can define you, scare you and give you freedom. There is so much energy and power tied to sexuality and sensuality. The debates surrounding virginity, the virtue of virginity, and the sexual responsibility of men and women are much deeper than a single blog post. My goal in this post is to bring the beginning of a perspective to what you may be experiencing in order to bring more light into what can be a very dark, lonely place to be.
