The holiday season, for me, brings with it a sense of reflection. This year, as 2014 comes to a close, I couldn't feel more relief. It has been a challenging year with family illness, a big move and a deeper re-connection to passionate work in my life. The more people I talk to about their 2014, the more I find I'm not alone in my experience. So, I've begun reflecting on that idea - of being alone.
Everyone is alone in how they experience their world. There is no one else who has the same history, the same path, and the same future as you. There are no two people that see the exact same color or object. No one will breathe the same smells as you or have the same emotional reaction to things. However, with all of that, it does not mean you are alone.
"I exist as I am. That is enough." ~Walt Whitman
I love that quote and absolutely agree with it! However, too often we put pressure on ourselves to perform and achieve in order to feel loved by someone.
Have you ever felt like you had to be a certain way, say a certain thing or meet some goal in order to be loved or be lovable? Maybe you have been told that you're too intense, or you need to be more driven. Maybe you got the most positive attention from your parents when you received an A in school or got that awesome win for your sports team.
I recently read the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. The subtitle makes the claim that having "the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead." That is a bold statement!! Well, it's true. She uses a lot of juicy stories and examples in the book to explain how it's true, however the biggest claim that resonated with me is that vulnerability goes further than just expressing some deep, sad emotion - it encompasses those moments when wonderful, amazing things happen in your life.
So, you've just met a man or woman who totally peaks your interest. They're smart, charming, you are really attracted to them and you both have a ton in common. Conversation seems to flow naturally and you can't wait to see them again. You can see them getting along with your friends and family and might even jump so far as picturing an engagement ring. You get those butterflies in your stomach and feel a spark even if you just hold hands. You start thinking this person could be IT for you, am I right?!
There is an interesting thing that happens when I tell people that I'm an Intimacy Leader. When I say that to men, they ask if I focus on sex. One guy even asked me "oh, like put this there and do this?" For women, they are intrigued and ask me to elaborate. They jump to taking intimacy to mean more than just physical contact.
Well, it really is about combining the physical with the emotional.
Today's post is focused on S-E-X. You know that kind of sex you see in movies like The Notebook, that everyone thinks is pure fantasy? Is that passionate, steamy, un-inhibited sex really real? The kind of sex that is so intense that you get lost in the moment and don't even notice how sweaty or out of breath you are. If you've never experienced that, do you want to? Why?
